I realised just recently how long it has been since my last ‘serious’ relationship- 10 years.
That’s right- a decade, doesn’t feel like a stellar achievement, not like six years writing this blog or working in a school, just the exact opposite, a bit depressing at times. It was something I rushed into and ended up regretting for a very long time, but life’s like that- everything and everyone constantly in motion, on the move every day, back-and-forth like yoyos. Perhaps that’s why I haven’t jumped into anything. Oh I did go through a phase of online dating, but reality rarely met expectations, like The Soufflé Girl from Asylum of the Daleks. Because I learned that people do exaggerate and lie on their online profiles.
I won’t go into any details of my dating disasters, maybe I have expectations that are too high and are never met, perhaps sometimes I am too unrealistic maybe?
Another thing I’ve found is when I fall for someone, I fall hard and fast, so when I crash back to Reality, well, I guess the fallout and crater impact are pretty awful sometimes. It’s easy to ‘feel’ infatuated, but what do you do when the object of your affection doesn’t return it or just ignores you? Life throws its curveballs hard and fast, so if you don’t catch it then it knocks you off your feet and onto the cold, hard concrete. (I might have paraphrased a Taylor Swift song there, oh dear!) (I think it’s ‘I knew you were trouble’, maybe??)
Falling flat on your backside, getting winded and confused is another part of the fallout, yet you have to back away and get a grip before you make an even bigger fool of yourself, which I’ve had to do a few times, and it is a difficult thing to do, but necessary for your own sanity.
Anyway, I have come up with a picture that might be a better alternative than swimming around in misery and confusion. I have to say I have been to a few beaches in the UK- Skegness and Hornsea on the East Coast, Exeter and Minehead in the South, Blackpool, New Brighton, West Kirby, Hoylake, Formby, Southport and even Hale in North West and Rhyl, Talacre, Prestatyn, somewhere on Anglesey (can’t remember where) and Aberystwyth in Wales. So found a picture from Hoylake beach- Looking toward the Horizon, off beyond Hilbre Island to Wales and beyond. Might be an interesting metaphor of where I am at. So giving it a go-
Imagine you are sitting on a Beach; it is a sunny, glorious summer day. Maybe you’re sat on a towel or on a deckchair, perhaps sunning yourself or sat underneath the welcome shade of an umbrella. Whatever you like.
The Beach isn’t packed, but there are a lot of people/activities going on around you. There is a bbq going, kids throwing Frisbees and building sandcastles, a dog chasing seagulls, couples holding hands, something of a party in the distance. There are also games- football, volleyball, more football, people flying kites, boats and surfboards on the waves.
Then something catches your attention. A solitary figure just on the Horizon. Faraway, yet moving closer.
In the midst of all the activities, all the distractions around you, they captivate your attention fully. Curious, you strain your eyes to see what is different. You can tell it’s a Woman, a golden Goddess, radiant, gliding along the sand.
And she is heading right towards you.
Straightaway you want to jump up, run over and greet her before anything else catches her attention. She could go over to the bbq, join in a game, meet someone else along the way or change direction and head to the water’s edge.
But no, you stay put, right where you are, enjoying the day. Basking.
Why be worried about something that may or may not even happen?
So you shrug and look away. Watch sandcastles being constructed by future Architects, see someone step into a hole in the sand and laugh at themselves, you sniggering with them. It is such a glorious day.
Then you glance back, she is still approaching you, clearer than before, but still far-off. Maybe you should get up, stretch your legs and go for a wander? Ask if she’d like some company (you wouldn’t mind some just for a change)
But stay put, let her approach you.
Eventually, she is getting nearer, and has noticed you, but still heading in your direction.
It looks like this could be an interesting day after all.
Okay, may sound like Wishful Thinking, (of which I am the god, king and lord majestic Emperor of!) But I do like the imagery, the metaphor of just being still, not rushing headlong over a romanticised cliff edge and into a heart-breaking pit of oblivion as usual.
Maybe playing the waiting game may not sound like the best strategy, but having done all the others and rushing headlong where Angels fear to tread has never worked out, so let’s try something else shall we?
Because you never know who or what may be coming your way.