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101 WAYS TO MURDER A CRÈME EGG

18 Sep

Get a Cluedo board and try replacing the Characters with chocolate bars- Miss Bounty, Colonel Cadbury, Reverend Milky Bar, Professor Snickers and Mrs. Kitkat.  Then there’s the murder weapon- Bunsen burner or blowtorch?  Which location?  Wonka Factory Floor or Shopping Mall?  It’s tougher than it looks.

I’ve been struggling to think of something to blog about, back in School, commuting the Wirral way, extra hours and no time to witter on about things I’d like to write about- like reviewing Mel C’s new Album ‘The Sea’, the Videos are cracking, but it’s the album I want to do a proper review of.  The same could be said for the new James Patterson thriller ‘Kill Alex Cross’- What a title!!  But I’m working on Tess Gerritsen’s Rizzoli and Isles thrillers, after seeing the trailer on Alibi.  My first impression was of a Cagney and Lacey-type show, but in ‘The Surgeon’ Isles doesn’t even appear.  Adaptations are tricky things, try adapting Shakespeare sometime and you’ll see what I mean!  Anyway, that’s in the pipeline, along with my plan to kill off the Daleks for good and doing some literary Wombling, which will be explained at some point!

I could murder a Crème Egg though, or a Scream Egg as the Halloween version is known as (the yellow bit is lime-ish, Which is nice marketing!)

I’m thinking of giving a few away at my first performance at the Chester Literature Festival in October.  Yes, you heard (read?!) it here first, I am finally unleashing some poetry on the unsuspecting public.  Homer help us, it’s happening at last!!

I’d like to think some of the poems I’ve posted and ones I’ve shared on Facebook have given me some practice.  Although what I’ve got for the Festival –The Chocolate Killer, the Chocolate Ghost and Attack of the Scream Eggs!  Could be classed as kids poems, I guess it’s what happens on the night that’ll determine if I’ll carry on with it.  It’s both scary and exhilarating at the same time.  I did think about Crème Egg juggling, but that would take longer than the five minute slot I’ve got!!  So I’m already in Christmassy mode, because there are two versions of Attack- one read and one sung to the tune of ‘Deck the Halls’ (Tra-la, la-la laa, la la la laaa!)  Maybe I’ll just read it!!

So the 20 minute Chocolate version of Cluedo, complete with board and cards/props (a Milky Way impaled on a Lead Pipe, honestly!!) will have to wait, as will My Chocolate Empire, but I just fancy tucking into a big Aero bar right now, don’t you?

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